Baby Jack is Big Boy Jack Now!

I'm going to try to avoid the much used phrase "I can't believe my baby is...." but let's just say I definitely understand the sentiment! Jack will be 2 on Saturday. That means 2 years ago, I was hugely pregnant, impatient, and NAIVE to what motherhood really meant.

I definitely think motherhood changes you very quickly. There's no doubt it's deepened me as a person and rearranged the order of importance of everything in my life. It is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. And not just motherhood, but specifically Jack (who wouldn't exist without that other great thing that happened to me - Jacob Landry).

Every month since Jack was born, I've been writing down what he's like in a little journal. I always get frustrated as I sit down to do this because there is so much to say and my hand writes so slowly. I've decided I'll switch to typing from now on.

Let me tell you a little about Jack and his first 2 years:

Adorable 8 lb, 10 oz baby


Cuddly, milk guzzling, BIG baby


Strong, brave, soul - an eternal inspiration to me (open heart surgery at 3.5 months)


Mr. Chunky


The Third Musketeer and Big Time Traveler


A Very Loved Owen/Landry Family Addition


An Avid Reader


Momma and Daddy's Baby and Best Buddy


As he approaches the milestone of his second birthday, who is Jack now?

• He is definitely independent, insisting on carrying his own bag or playing contentedly by himself.
• He is imaginative "I am a dump truck"..."I am a car carrier"... I've watched him make up many games and identities.
• He is polite - he says "Excuse me" when he "has gas" and always says "please" - actually kind of a challenge bc I don't always want him to have what he's asking for!!
  
• He is a smart little cookie. I know it might sound like bragging, but when it's your own child who you have watched evolve from a tiny baby to a thinking, talking boy, everything is amazing! He knows his ABCs, including identifying all letters except a handful (U, V, E, and N if you are curious). He counts to 11. He knows an impressive amount of machine names ("Mommy, I see a mobile crane....Mommy, where digger go?.....Mommy, find backhoe loader")
• He has an uncanny memory. Jake gets tired of my stories, but the child doesn't forget anything. We go on walks and he knows what road the hospital is down, where he'll likely see school buses, and remembers that a car that looked like his friend Felix' Mommy's was parked over there once. He randomly spouts out things from months back. For example, when he heard us talk about Uncle Chris, he said "Uncle Chris has a boo-boo" - which was true, when he saw Uncle Chris 3 months ago.
• He loves, loves, loves to read. My favorite moments are the ones where I look over to find out why Jack is so quiet and it's because he's sitting on his blanket reading his books, slowly flipping through the pages. We read together during the day, before nap, and before bed. He loves Sesame Street books (mine and Jake's from our childhood), loves non-fiction books about trucks (I highly recommend the emergent reader Mighty Machine books), and random other books.
• He loves his school, the Child Development Program. When we sit down to say his prayers, he immediately says "Ms. Robin" wanting to make sure we bless his teacher in our prayers. He's proud of the pictures he brings home and is making good buddies at school (Stephen and Jack namely).
• He has had a wonderful first best buddy Felix, who he's been hanging out with every week or so since he was 9 months old. Sadly Felix is moving to NC, but hopefully will come back to visit.
• He loves to eat. He can definitely be picky when he wants to, but the boy is indiscriminate when it comes to fruit and cheese -- his two favorite types of food. Jake and I are pretty proud of Jack's diet and the fact that he eats very little processed food. I have a feeling we come off a little intensely to some (i.e. the church nursery ladies) but I'm confident we've got sound logic on our end and I know Jack is healthier for our strictness.
• He is so loving. He says "Mommy hold you" and "Mommy snuggle" a lot and I love that he comes to me for comfort. Now that he knows we are having a baby, he is so sweet and cute. He says "Hi baby, how are you?" to my belly and has started to say "I love you" and gives my belly a kiss, unprompted.
• He will be an awesome big brother. He's just a great kid, so who wouldn't want to have him as their big brother? He knows that when the baby is ready, we'll go to the "hopipital" and that he'll get to hold him/her then. (He thinks it's a girl).
• He is still a baby. I LOVE his pronunication of certain words and almost encourage it just bc I think they are so cute. My favorites are "hop-e-pital" (he's obsessed with building hospitals and looking for the hospital and ambulance trucks so he says this a lot); "nummy" (which means another, i.e. "Jack had a nummy bad cough" after he coughs a second time); "manana" for banana and "banola" for granola and "strawbay-yay-yay" (and rasbay-yay-yay etc.) :)
• He is not perfect. He has a temper, he's definitely hit Jake and me more than I'd like to admit, and he is nowhere near rational at this point. But these are all parts of Jack and the little boy his mind/body/soul are working toward becoming. It's our job to be patient and help teach him in these moments (EASIER SAID THAN DONE but we are working on it!)

There is so much to love about him. I hope I get to be blessed with a long life as his mother so I can get to watch him grow up through all the stages and get to know the wonderful person I know he will be as an adult.

Happy Birthday Jack - we love you the most!

9 weeks!

9 weeks pregnant! (11/26/11)

I'm still feeling sick but it's a little helpful right now because I'm at the point in pregnancy where there is a disconnect between the knowledge that I am pregnant and any physical confirmation of that fact. What I mean by that is, according to the books I now have a grape sized tiny baby inside of me, with 10 little fingers and 10 little toes, but I can't feel that baby, I don't really look pregnant, and I haven't had an ultrasound to give me visual proof. So the constant sickness helps me believe that I actually am pregnant!

I'm still VERY excited about this baby despite the first trimester side effects. As I watch Jack grow and develop into this personable, bright, loving child, it's amazing to know I'll get to experience all that joy again with another baby - and that that journey has already started! I have a phone ap that gives me daily pregnancy updates and which has some great little videos to detail the journey. Jake and I watched the "First 9 Weeks of Pregnancy" video last night and it's crazy to see how a ball of cells turns into a tiny human in such a short time frame!

We are now T-minus two weeks for the big move and I'm so excited, albeit bracing myself for a month of craziness. It's been fun to visit the new house and watch it take form. I love that Jack has had so much exposure to it and how it's been a form of preparation for the change of the move. He is going to love this bigger, more spacious home with all its new opportunities for adventure. Our yard is literally a construction site, but EVENTUALLY it will be awesome to have an outdoor spot for Jack to play.

Jack is being a good sport about these Jack/belly pictures, but added in the school bus to make it more fun.

Week Nine Stats:

How I know I'm pregnant: still pretty constant nausea, complete exhaustion at times, and I've started waking at least once in the night needing to pee

Diet: still oatmeal and OJ, followed by apples, rice cakes and peanut butter usually, and then a normal dinner - this week we had dinner brought by friends + dinner out + 3 holiday meals/leftovers, so that helped with my utter lack of interest in planning/preparing a meal; still not all that interested in sweets and turned off by certain foods

My healthy pregnancy intentions for last week (how I did):1) Get my labwork done. (√)
2) Continue to research baby boy names. (√ - Jake and I took a look at my initial list and narrowed it down to about 15 possibilities)
3) Take advantage of week off and get good rest (while also getting a LOT done for the new house/move/Christmas shopping). (3/4 check - got good rest and got close to half of my Christmas shopping done and packed the first boxes for the move)
4) Get vegetables back into my diet. (X - sadly, no)
5) Make sure I'm not neglecting my husband like I have these past few weeks. (half check - we went on a date and we spent a good bit of quality time together over break but I've definitely still been short tempered at times and am still spending a lot of time lying on the couch!)
*Bonus: I got my flu shot.

My healthy pregnancy intentions for this week:
1) Email our HR director to get information about maternity leave
2) Make a daily to do list so I can stay on top of the move + get ready for Jack's birthday (!!) while still making sure I'm getting rest
3) Go to bed before 10:00 every night
4) Try to vary what I'm eating some to get more nutrients in

8 weeks!

8 weeks pregnant! (11/19/11)

8 weeks feels like the first milestone! (I have no idea why.) At 10 weeks, I plan to stop keeping this pregnancy such a secret, so that is the next milestone. And the milestone of feeling better can happen ANY TIME - I am VERY ready!!

I continue to feel a little better. I still have a nauseated feeling most of the time, but it is no longer constant and hasn't been debilitating this week. I'm frustrating Jake with my pickiness about food, but what's a girl to do when SO FEW foods are appealing!

The main challenge this week has just been feeling SO tired. Case in point: I got ELEVEN hours of sleep last night, definitely a record since Jack was born. This included falling asleep on the couch at 8:30 and staying in bed while Jake got up with Jack this morning. Even still it took almost 2 hours for me to stop feeling exhausted after I woke up and start to feel like I could tackle the day.

Jack has continued to be a champ and has been great with his naps (with one exception yesterday). This has been very helpful because I spend the whole 3 hours he is sleeping on the couch, either doing computer tasks or sleeping.

Jake and I went to our first prenatal appointment on Thursday at Woman to Woman Midwifery. This is a practice of two midwives. I had a great appointment - we were there close to 1.5 hours, but only about 5-10 minutes of that was spent waiting. The rest of the time was spent going over my medical history, learning about their practice, talking about this pregnancy, and then getting my exam. Everything looks good and I've gained back about half the weight I lost in the early weeks. We go again on December 15th and plan to bring Jack.

In other news...
- we are slated to move between December 7-10 - ahh! We will be ready, but will the house be??
- Jack now thinks there are two babies in my belly and knows that when the baby is ready, that I will go to the hospital ("hop-ee-pital") and that's where he'll come meet the baby
- somebody is turning 2 in two weeks!!

Week Eight Stats:

How I know I'm pregnant: still feel nauseated, definitely have a small baby bump (that is huge after meals :) ), SOOOO tired, and still sensitive up top, and now I have the midwives' confirmation!

Diet: oatmeal every morning with glass of OJ, bananas for snack, usually peanut butter with apples or bread for lunch, had real dinners this week, though 3 of them were purchased (so I could have exactly what sounded good); not all that interested in sweets which is a big change for me

My healthy pregnancy intentions for last week (how I did):
1) Write down any questions I have before our Thursday appointment. (√, but of course left them at home)
2) Keep the pregnancy quiet for at least another week at work. (√ - now it's Thanksgiving break - I plan to tell HR once we are back in school)
3) Try to diversify what I'm eating bc I think I'll feel better with healthier, more varied foods in me. (√ - thanks to Juan's Flying Burrito, Reginellis, and Gott Gourmet for providing me with ready made dinners this week :) )
4) Keep going to bed early and making time for afternoon naps. (√√)
5) Get back to researching baby boy names. (√ - up through the letter S now)

My healthy pregnancy intentions for this week:
1) Get my labwork done.
2) Continue to research baby boy names.
3) Take advantage of week off and get good rest (while also getting a LOT done for the new house/move/Christmas shopping).
4) Get vegetables back into my diet.
5) Make sure I'm not neglecting my husband like I have these past few weeks.

7 weeks!

7 weeks! (11/12/11)

Well 7 weeks definitely feels better than 6! I'm still nauseated but it is NOTHING like how I felt last week. I'm proud to say I went to work every day this week and generally held it together despite some rough afternoons of not feeling well. I've been fortunate in that I seem to feel the worst after lunch and in the evenings, which line up with when Jack is sleeping. So I've been doing a lot of couch sitting and sleeping myself. In bed at 8-something + a daily nap - Jake is just loving this, let me tell you!

I noticed a definite positive shift on Thursday, so I hope it continues!!! I cannot wait until the day when food is actually appealing again! I have a pregnancy by the week book that I've been rereading this go round. Our baby has doubled in size in this past week and is now the size of my fingernail (1/2 inch long), so there is a definite positive aspect of the side effects.

We'll be going for our first appointment this Thursday. We are switching to the local midwifery practice this time. We liked our obstetrician last time but in principle, I believe I'm a great candidate for a midwife assisted birth. I'm young, healthy, and have had one uneventful pregnancy. In general, I believe birth has become over-medicalized in our society, and I think it makes more sense for me to be cared for by a midwife, especially since my goal, again this time, is to deliver naturally, without any medicine or interventions if possible. I also CANNOT imagine taking Jack to monthly and then weekly doctor apptmts. where we wait 90-120 minutes which was our experience last time. I have 3 good friends here who delivered with the midwives and all of them have stressed how family friendly their practice is. This is great as I want Jack to be very much a part of this pregnancy and to learn what is happening with "Jack's baby."

In other news this week, I am now showing! Holy cow - at 6.5 weeks?! But no doubt, my pants are tight and there is a definite lower belly pooch (see exhibit A below). We haven't really started telling people here and don't plan to for a few more weeks, so we'll see if I can hide the pooch for now.


Jack continues to be a great sport for his lazy mom. He gives his baby daily kisses and now says "Hi baby, how are you?" (to which I say, "I'm good, how are you Jack" which he then repeats :) ) He does have his second ear infection in 3 weeks, so he is needing a little extra loving this weekend.

Week Seven Stats:

How I know I'm pregnant: baby bump!, the around the clock nausea, constant fatigue, a little sensitivity up top :)

Diet: depressing: lots of bananas with some grapes and apples; bread, a little PB, some soup, oatmeal, and orange juice (the one thing that still sounds 100% good to me)

My healthy pregnancy intentions for last week (how I did):
1) make sure I'm keeping at least some food down at every meal (after last weekend, I've eaten at least something every meal)
2) stay positive bc I know this sickness is temporary and is going to lead to a wonderful baby (I give myself an A- here - I'm really excited for this baby - just longing to feel better so I can enjoy it more!)

My healthy pregnancy intentions for this week:
1) Write down any questions I have before our Thursday appointment.
2) Keep the pregnancy quiet for at least another week at work.
3) Try to diversify what I'm eating bc I think I'll feel better with healthier, more varied foods in me.
4) Keep going to bed early and making time for afternoon naps.
5) Get back to researching baby boy names.

6 weeks...

6 weeks... (11/7/11)
The nausea is overwhelming. Last weekend I would have rated it a 2-3 on a scale of 10. It's steadily gotten worse till it's now a definite 6 at least. In 5 days, I've lost 4.5 pounds bc I can hardly eat. Almost all food is repulsive to me right now or at least not appealing. Even several days into this, I haven't even been feeling hungry. Not eating much has led to a whole range of unpleasant symptoms (that I won't detail), not the least of which is feeling even more wiped out. Since this horrible nauseated feeling is all-consuming, I've had plenty of time to try to analyze it and it seems to be worse from about 30 minutes to at least 2 hours after I eat. I'm only eating tiny servings of extremely bland foods (bagel, plain oatmeal, fruit) and it feels okay to eat it, but then I just get this cascade of nausea that just keeps getting stronger until I either throw up, sleep it off, or it finally peaks and starts to die down.

Not.fun.at.all.

In fact I'm pretty overwhelmed. Mainly because I don't know how long this will last and that's scary. I'm also a little disconcerted because I want to be healthy but it seems that I feel worse when I eat and that just doesn't work.

Life is not slowing down despite how I'm feeling. Jack is still almost 2 and takes a lot of energy. He hasn't seem phased by my mainly immobile state (he likes to read books and is happy playing trucks solo for the most part) but even the basic care tasks are wiping me out. I also have work which is VERY hard to get to and get going but does seem to help distract me some from how I'm feeling. In other news, we didn't have hot water for 24 hrs, Jake got in an accident which leaves us with just one car, and we are trying to position ourselves to MOVE in one month...as I said life is not slowing down.

I pray that in a week I'll be feeling better!!
Week Six Stats:

How I know I'm pregnant: there is no doubt - all the signs above; I try to take comfort in knowing that sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy

Diet: even the word is grossing me out

My healthy pregnancy intentions for last week (how I did):1) tell our parents the news :) √
2) research baby boy names since I have none in mind a little, I am through letter J
3) since I know I may hit a really sick phase in a week or so, really focus on eating an optimal diet this week while I'm still feeling okay (more greens, less sweets, more water, less juice) for like 1 day I was able to do this
4) keep jogging and doing Pilates while it still feels right jogged at beginning of week but now that I can't eat, don't think I should be burning calories

My healthy pregnancy intentions for this week:
1) make sure I'm keeping at least some food down at every meal
2) stay positive bc I know this sickness is temporary and is going to lead to a wonderful baby

List is short bc I need to keep expectations low this week!

5 weeks!

5 weeks! (10-29-11)

The idea of another baby is sinking in some, but when you aren't telling anyone, it can still feel a little unreal. Neither Jacob nor I seem to be able to hold back from talking about it with Jack, even though there are several good reasons why we should. A few months back when two of Jack's friends had babies, we started talking about whether Jack wanted to have a baby. (He said he did.) I told him that he needed to ask God if we could have a baby. From that conversation, Jack started randomly saying "Ask Jesus, have a baby?" in the sweetest voice. This was something my mom would just adore, but since we weren't telling anyone we were going to start trying, we kept this sweetness to ourselves.

Well now when Jack says this, we say "Jesus said yes!" We've also asked if he wants a boy or girl baby (girl) and I threw out my two favorite girl names (Hana and Cora) and he's stuck with Baby Cora. I told him that the baby is in my belly and I showed him the pictures of me pregnant with him. He now points to my belly when I ask where the baby is and when I asked if he wanted to kiss the baby, he was all about it. So....probably not the smartest thing to tell your 22 month old that you are having a baby if you want to keep it secret, but we'll see if he can not spill the beans. I'm really excited about the idea of experiencing another baby along with Jack - both the pregnancy, the new baby, and then getting to watch the baby grow up together.

Jack knows where the baby is :)

Week Five Stats:

How I know I'm pregnant: I feel pregnant when I lay down at night - I feel a little uncomfortable and want a pillow between my legs; still some cramping; definitely feeling more tired; started feeling blah yesterday - I feel like I should eat and that makes the feeling go away, but only for a few minutes. So it's a persistent yucky feeling, but not that bad.

Diet: Ate collard greens twice and 4 salads and cut my desserts by half. Give myself an A- for the week.

My healthy pregnancy intentions for last week (how I did):
1) switch from regular woman's to prenatal vitamins (√)
2) weigh myself (√)
3) schedule a first visit with the midwifery practice in town (√ - Nov 17)
4) eat more greens and less sweets (√)

My healthy pregnancy intentions for this week:
1) tell our parents the news :)
2) research baby boy names since I have none in mind
3) since I know I may hit a really sick phase in a week or so, really focus on eating an optimal diet this week while I'm still feeling okay (more greens, less sweets, more water, less juice)
4) keep jogging and doing Pilates while it still feels right

4 weeks!

4 weeks....pregnant! (10-23-11)

Ahhh! We are having another baby!! Less than 24 hours after getting that piece of news, it hasn't fully sunk in. We want to have another baby and one mere month ago decided to start trying. It all the sudden just felt very right to expand our family. How amazing that this blessing has come so fast!

We bought the pregnancy test yesterday. But I was NOT going to take it until my period was officially one day late. That would have been this morning. Last night, I felt like a child on Christmas Eve. I had a hard time falling asleep and kept waking up. Finally about 1:30, I said, I'm going to go ahead and take it. And BAMM, 45 seconds later, I see this:


I was giddy, but didn't want to wake Jake up, so I texted him the picture. I then lay in bed for more than an hour too excited to sleep. I finally did fall asleep but woke up several times before finally at 6:40, going and getting Jake his phone. I was trying to be natural about this and he finally picked it up and looked to see if he had any messages. His response? "Wow, you're fertile." :)

We are going to keep the news quiet for a few weeks. This was our thought after the first pregnancy where we (I) felt the first weeks dragged by and it was hard to even believe I was actually pregnant. The plan is to tell our parents in two weeks and then slowly spread the word, but we'll see if we hold out. So I'm just going to save this post as a draft for now!

Week Four Stats:

How I know I'm pregnant: cramping - I had this with Jack and it was what actually (after a week of being like "Period, just start already!") clued me in something might be up.

Diet: feel like I'm in a good starting place but know I should cut back on my desserts and up the greens

My healthy pregnancy intentions for this week:
1) switch from regular woman's to prenatal vitamins
2) weigh myself
3) schedule a first visit with the midwifery practice in town
4) eat more greens and less sweets

A Day in Jack's Life

Friday, September 30th - a few days shy of Jack's 22nd month birthday....

Like clockwork, a few minutes after our 6am alarm, we hear Jack calling "cummere Mommy!"

He greets me with: "Mommy, bed; Mommy, bed"

Morning time is my favorite time as all 3 of us pile into our bed. There are lots of snuggles and talking before we fully get up for the day. This morning included some books as well.


Jack spends a lot of time with just a shirt on when he's at home. This is our potty training method of choice. It seems to work great as he's very aware of going to the bathroom and doesn't have accidents (okay there was that one time when he pooped on the floor...).

Next it is time to pee pee in the potty... "Mommy, pee pee backwards....no, poo-poo on floor!" (he really does say this most times he's on the potty) Pee pee backwards is Jack's preferred potty sitting position.


Then it's straight to his fire truck in the living room. Or rather "Bire *uck".


A typical fire truck conversation goes like this:

"Mama, bire *uck! Big yadder! Many lights on. Oh no, bire *uck!" (He throws in a lot of "oh no's" into his speech - a little dramatic flare :) )

Then it's time to help Daddy unload the dishwasher while Mommy makes breakfast.


Jack manages to get two different "boo boos" and narrowly avoids a time-out visit. It's amazing how much can happen in the 5 minutes it takes me to make breakfast!


Every morning, Jack has "yum yum" (oatmeal or hot cereal). Breakfast convo:

"Mamma yum yum; Daddy yum yum; Jack yum yum (he points)...Bire station; bire *uck, coming back; bire man press button, door open. Mmm-hmmm" (Jack likes to affirm what he says.)


Then it's time to brush teeth. Jack allows me enough time to sing Happy Birthday (or as he says "Happy Derfday") once for his top teeth and once for his bottom teeth. Diaper and clothes on. Bag packed. In car.


On the way to school, Jack narrates the trip by letting me know who else is on the road:

"School bus...nummer school bus? 2 school bus! Po-po car, po-po car! Amblance *uck - many lights on! Backhoe *uck! Garbage *uck! Taxi cab!" And my personal favorite "Checker Picker *uck!" (cherry picker truck) The child doesn't forget any truck we've learned about and we've read LOTS of truck books!

It's now 7:55 and we're at school.

J: "Momma, too?"

Of course, I will come too Jack.

J: "Jack, walk?"


J: "Hey Miss Yahbin!"


J: "Play amblance truck?" "Airplane!"

Me: Bye Jack, I love you!

J: "Mommy, work, coming back!" (For the first two weeks, this was said shakily and with tears; now he says it very matter-of-factly.)

Jack then spends the rest of the morning at school, playing trucks with his friends, playing outside, doing some art, and eating some lunch.

I pick him up after lunch. I ask him if he wants to show me the outside play area. He beelines straight to the fire truck, of course.


Once in the car, he asks:

"Drive by bire station?"

I take a slightly less direct route home from school so that we can do our daily drive by. As we get close...

J: "Drive by bire station!!! Slow down! All doors shut! Bire *uck missing!!" Whatever he sees at the fire station he talks about for the rest of the day.

At home, it's straight to his room for books and then naptime in the big boy bed.

J: "Big boy bed, no out"


10 minutes later, the scene has changed to this:


I am so lucky to have a flexible schedule where I can go pick Jack up at lunch. His nap (usually 3 hrs) gives me the time I need to do more work at home. The end of my work day comes with a thud, some giggles coming down the hallway, and a very disheveled Jack:


J: "Snuggle Mommy? On couch? Read books?"

And after each book,

J: "One time?"

Me: You mean one more time Jack?

J: "One time?"

Me: Jack we have to get ready for our adventure!

After a visit to the potty and outfit changes, we are ready to go.

J: "Snack cup Mommy? MMM! Snack cup!"

Me: What are you eating Jack?

J: "Pears, raisins!"


We then bought some baby gifts and went to two different Friday afternoon play groups - at two different neighborhood parks. Jacob met us at the second one and had bought Jack a new soccer ball since we lost our last one. Jack had a blast climbing, sliding, swinging, and running around. He has been known to flip out when it's time to get back in the stroller to leave, but not tonight because....

Jacob: Jack, do you want pizza?

J: "Pizza! Daddy, pizza!"

Jack loves sitting outside and eating his pizza.


We walk home and Jack gets a bubble bath. Then back to the big boy bed where Jack reads his truck books to us. (Okay, it's more like he fills in the blanks)

Then we gather Hop, Blue Bear, and Bunny, his two pacifiers, and his blanket and head to the crib.

J: "Mommy, rock?"

We turn the lights off and rock and say our prayers and then he goes right down...

30 minutes of quiet later...

J: "Mommy cummere!"

J: "Mommy rock?" "Rocking chair"

He's hard to resist and who would mind having this precious little boy snuggled up in your lap randomly spouting out bits of his day and his deepest thoughts? :)

J:"Big papa press button, door open"...."Uncle Willliam, pick up truck"...."trash - garbage truck carry away" (a line from a book)...."Mommy, coming back"....

I lay him back down and this time he goes to sleep for good.

I wish I could bottle up moments like this, but I guess the next best thing is writing it down sometimes, taking pictures and videos, so that I can "open it up" again one day when Jack doesn't ask me to "snuggle". Will I want my 18 year old to ask me to snuggle?

In case you were wondering what the hardest job is...

Motherhood has been kicking my butt lately, all the while making sure I remember that this is the hardest job I've ever had. With me working part time, sometimes it's hard for me to separate out what exactly is kicking my butt, but this week is Spring Break so Jack is my number one focus and I now have evidence that it is MOTHERHOOD and not any mere paid job/career/occupation that wins the award of 'most challenging role'!

One of several examples I could share:

Today started at 4:21 a.m. Did I mention I am on Spring Break? Normally my days start at 6 when I have work...

After an effort to get Jack back to sleep, I end up bringing him into our bed to which he delightedly cried "Dada!! Dada!" Jack and I spent the last few days in SC (the one hour time difference is the partial culprit here) so he was especially excited to see his dad again this morning.

Jake was less excited to see him and after a hug and an effort to get him to snuggle up and go back to sleep, he left to finish out his remaining sleep in the guest bedroom. At least when your job is paid it entitles you to sleep!

Jack and I officially got up around 5:30. Diaper #1 is changed. I made everyone breakfast, fed Jack, did the dishes, and then finished unpacking while Jack played. Around 7:00 Jack starts to get fussy (what is wrong with this picture) and so we read some books. He is down for a nap at 8:00! Diaper #2 has been changed: lovely blueberry poop.

This is a brief interlude as he is awake by 8:39. We play. At 9:o8, I check the Parenting Center's schedule and see they have 'Story and Art Time" at 10. This isn't something I can normally go to with Jack, so I say let's go for it! Nevermind we only have a bike, no car. Nevermind I know it takes at least 30 minutes to get there. Nevermind the wind is whipping devilishly outside. Nevermind I KNOW now that nothing goes as planned!

Diaper #3. Jack's clothes changed. I pack the essentials, including the "paper back swap" books Jake has asked me to take to the post office. All the while, Jack is excitedly saying "Bikes!" "Hats!". We load up. Jack's helmet is in two parts in my hands (!?). I get it back together and on his head. We are off.

The ride there does go smoothly. Jack and I practice saying "Stop!" at the stop signs. I sing the ABCs, he responds "A,C,D".

We arrive at the Parenting Center at 10:08. There are many babies and parents! Jack has zero interest in the craft time. He sits for no more than a second and then he is off to the trucks. "Trucks!" "Baaalll!" "Baby!" "Baaalll!" He has a blast playing inside. We go outside and Jack has fun climbing into the toy cars and trucks and running around with a ball. I see him approach another "driver". Jack reaches in to touch the wheel. The little 2 yr old doesn't like the intrusion. He grabs Jack's hand aggressively and shoves it in his MOUTH!

I quickly shut this down but the damage has been done. Jack has his first bite. He is crying big tears. The other mother is embarrassed (as I would be) and so I try to downplay the incident while also trying to take stake of the wound. (The skin has not been broken). Jack pitifully asks for a ball. We go off and play, but I keep an eye out for the biter.

Diaper #4 and I decide it's time to head home. Getting Jack's helmet back on takes multiple attempts and more tears. At last we are on the bike and headed home!

8 blocks later, my wheels start spinning. I look around for help bc let me assure you I have no idea what to do or what is wrong with my bike. There are two 20-something year olds that don't look like your typical knights in shining armor, but I can't be choosy. "Do you know anything about bikes?" I ask. They come over. I unhook Jack. They flip my bike over and get the chain back on. Catastrophe averted. I am very grateful!

Back on the road. We have to cross busy streets to get to the post office. We make it there. "Wow that baby is Healthy! He's bigger than the momma," I hear. I choose to take that as a compliment.

I debate. Take helmet off, but then have to get it back on? I decide to keep Jack's helmet on. We walk in the post office. There are only 3 people ahead of us in line - thank goodness as this post office is known for long lines and waits. Jack says "Hat?!" "Hat?!" and points to his head. I point out another man wearing a hat to try to distract Jack. 5 mins. 10 mins. 15 mins. Jack plays peek a boo with the woman behind us. He is getting very heavy. Finally our turn. Packages mailed.

Back on the bike. The wind is whipping dirt in our faces. Not too much further! The chain falls off again. This time no one is around. I climb off and unload the bike. I try holding Jack by one hand and try to get the chain on with the other. This isn't working. 4 cars go by - no one stops. Finally a car parks on the road and I ask for help. The guy graciously flips my bike over and gets the chain back on. I reload and we set off on the final stretch.

FINALLY HOME! I check the time: 12:38. I am WIPED. Diaper #5, lunch, and nap are next. Hopefully Jack is as tired as me and will take a good one bc I need a rest!

Moral of the story: Show some love to the mothers out there - it's not as easy as it looks!! And also, thank both your parents - they probably had lots of days like this!

Note: I said it was the hardest job, but not a thankless job! I couldn't love Jack any more no matter what time he gets up, how many times he poops right after I change his diaper, or how hard it is for him to learn what no means. He is the sweetest little bear and 1 hr into his nap I already miss him :)

Juxtaposition

Picture this. Across the street is a pretty house with a pretty yard, with the inside lights shining out. From my vantage point, I can see pretty pictures on the wall, indicating a fashionably decorated house. On the door is a duck with a gauzy blue ribbon symbolizing the baby boy that just arrived there this weekend. The house is emitting a calm, contented aura.

Then there is me and our house. I emerge carrying a 26 lb, 13 month old, a diaper bag, a gym bag, a plastic bag with borrowed items I am finally going to return, a paper bag of recycling, a plastic bag of recycling, a pizza box, and keys. I stumble to the car trying not to drop any of these items, especially the 13 month old. I am carrying all at once, because, yet again, I am rushing. I drop everything (except the 13 month old) by the car and then start the process of trying to get everything in, while still trying to hurry.


I remember the calm beginnings of motherhood fondly, but I do feel, despite the craziness, it only gets better.