October in Pictures

Busy, busy!  I hope to write soon, but I didn't want another week to go by without some kind of post.  Luckily, we've captured a lot of great pictures in the past few weeks.  Here is what we've been up to:

College-era friends Allison, JP, and Erin visit and bring baby Lucas

Loving the cooler temps - lots of outside play

Fall Festival at church

Boo at the Zoo!

Cora loved it too!

Jacob goes out of town and leaves me with these two cuties.  This picture is BEFORE the stomach bug hit our house.  WHAT A ROUGH 24 HOURS!

Big Papa and Grammy visit!

Matching PJs!  Late October - first night cool enough to wear winter pjs.

Furman-LSU game in Tiger Stadium!

Happy Cora

Mommy-Jack breakfast date at Stein's

Happy Halloween from the fireman and his firehouse dog!

Halloween 2013

16 Month Update

Cora Landry is...

• "so smiley!"
• "so expressive"
• "so independent" (her teacher)
• "a monster!" (her dad talking)
• A HANDFUL (me!)

I remember saying I could never imagine this calm baby ever being anything but sweet :)  We love our little ball of feelings!  We love how she looks like she's just gotten a cattle prod in the back whenever she sees us.  We love how simple things (seeing her water cup, her blankie, her brother) make her dissolve into smiles and excitement.

We even love her alligator tears.

This has been a month for talking.  She's added new words (ball, outside, book, truck, chicken, night-night, hot, teddy), but mainly she is just spending more time talking.  A lot of her words sound the same, but her facial expressions, pointing, grabbing, and head shaking help clarify.

This month has also erased my worry that maybe because Jack loves to read so much she might not.  Reading has climbed the list of her favorite things.  It now bounces above nursing at times (i.e. she cuts night-time nursing sessions short because she wants to read another book), but still falls below her blankie, which is her all time favorite thing.

A favorite Jack-Cora activity is to get a fire book (which we have about 40 of) and "read" it together looking for "DOG-gies."  It's very convenient that their interests align ( fire books have fire dogs on nearly every page.)  Cora will be a fire dog for Halloween and Jack will be a fireman (for the third year if you are counting).

Cora no longer seems interested in coming home with me when I arrive at school!  She lights up when she sees me but gets mad if I try to pick her up. She's almost always at the sand table and is a sandy mess to take home.  I felt a slight twinge the first time she pitched a fit to come home, but I'm really happy she is loving school so much. 



We are about to drop the second nap all together.  We were at two naps half the time, but Cora has started sleeping later and it started getting hard to get her down twice.  For now, I'm keeping the Tuesday morning nap as that helps her catch up on sleep between her school days and it gives me a little time to do things like write this blog since Jack is at school on Tuesdays.

She's still nursing a solid four times a day.  She typically wakes between 5 and 6 and will now nurse and go back to sleep until we wake her up between 7-7:30.  Nursing three times would fit better into our daily schedule but I'm not quite ready to drop the fourth feeding.  With four nursings, I don't think twice about not offering cow's milk, but I think when we drop to three, I will, so we're going to hang onto it a little longer.  I really love nursing a toddler because it's such a magical calming aid.  Cora can be over-tired or upset and will immediately relax when she nurses and is fully restored to a happy child when she's done.

She's busy, cute, full of energy, opinionated, smart, a stinker, and such a beautiful little girl.  We are a lucky family to have her!

Division of Labor

*Disclaimer: Jacob has read and signed off on this post.

I know couples in all walks of life, in all parts of the world must struggle with the "division of labor" in their household.  I'm thankful I live in the 21st century as I would have lasted about 60 seconds in the 1960s.

But I've realized that it doesn't matter how enlightened your marriage, raising kids and earning a living are taxing jobs, and that's when they stand alone.  When you add in the necessities: procuring food, preparing food, keeping a clean household, washing clothes...WASHING CLOTHES... and then the niceties on top of that, it gets a little insane.

Life's not always engaged-in-Hawaii perfect :)

Jacob is an amazing dad and husband.  In our kitchen, we cook and clean evenly (he's more of a chef, I'm more of a cook).  Bathtime and bedtime are also shared roles. He handles all of our big picture finances (investing, managing our accounts); I use mint.com to analyze our monthly spending.   But, it doesn't make sense for us to split everything.  We each have strengths: he is a master gardener: I know we have basil, but don't know which plant it is.  He takes care of all of our car issues; I went a year once without getting gas.  On the other hand, I'm the details queen. I know where everyone will be at all points of the week and I plan meals, tasks, pack bags, etc. to ensure we are all where we need to be with what we need.  Jacob gets stressed out just looking at our diaper bag (too many pockets.) I handle all laundry duties; I make breakfast.

More Hawaii-era love

So the reality is that we both contribute a lot to this family.  But I will admit I struggle with the equity of it all on a day to day basis.  I can go from a rational, calm, loving wife to a raging b...east if Jacob gets home at 6:45 instead of the 6:15 we'd "agreed" upon.  It's like we exist peaceably in our give-and-take, but when things get jarred, even by a minor incident, something that resembles resentment flares up and I start hashing things out.

Busy, but child-free Seattle life

For example, Jacob recently asked which days Cora goes to school...  I just stared at him.  And then I let loose.  How can you not know when she goes to school?  She is OUR child, not MY child.  Why should I be the only one thinking about where she is when.  In hindsight, I realize how yelling is only going to make him defensive and since neither of us backs down easily, a comment escalates into an argument.

With a cool head, I realize the problem is not with our division of labor.  We both do a lot; we are both great parents with our own parenting styles.  The problem is that we let ourselves get so swept up with everything going on in life that we aren't spending enough time interacting as friends/adults/a couple and so become these feisty co-parents, co-household CEOs, who feel the need to always emphasize our own contribution to the operation.


We're working on it.  Maybe we should take a page from these two:

Don't let the cuteness fool you - they're not always this sweet to each other :)

On Working

When I last wrote about work, I said I was leaving my role with ReNEW Charter Schools to do more freelance work with the goal of having a truly flexible schedule.  But soon thereafter, I started working on some projects at ReNEW that helped me envision how my role could morph into one that might actually be a fit for part time work (something I'd struggled with up to that point.)  I was part of ReNEW's founding team in 2010 and served as the Director of Literacy, but as we grew from two to four campuses, it felt impossible to do the role justice and work part time. 

Two of my favorite parts of working with ReNEW are the people and the level of trust and autonomy I've always been given.  So when I was asked to stay on in a more defined, part-time role, I said yes and I've been really happy with my decision.  I manage an outside grant and an internal budget to build a strong foundation for literacy instruction at our school (leading to my new title: Director of Literacy Foundations).  I jokingly say I now traffic in books :)  I manage our librarians, helped us upgrade to a new library software, work with our curriculum team to integrate texts into all subject areas, run reading incentive programs, and get to buy lots of books.  I'm so much happier now that I have a work load that is closer to fitting into my work hours (an agreed upon 20 hour target).

So in my fourth year of working as a mother, I finally can say that I feel like I'm in an ideal situation.  I've always worked a version of part time, but it's always felt like I was trying to both work and be at home and the balance was never quite right.  There are now five things in place that make the levels feel right:

1. I have TWO, YOUNG children and really need some time that is my own where I can be productive.  Working in a job that I like allows me to be productive and have some separation and distinction for myself.
2. Cora is beyond her first year.  It was really hard for me to leave both Jack and Cora when they were babies.  
3. We've found good childcare.  We continue to love the Waldorf School for Jack.  Two of my three work days, Cora is at a school and she is thriving.  She's having fun in a setting that I'm happy with, so I feel relaxed about leaving her.  For the third day, we have found a great sitter.
4. I'm doing something I believe in.  There is SO MUCH that needs to happen in our public education system and a lot to have doubts over.  As Jack gets older, I think a lot about what I will want for him in his education.  What I'm spending my time at work doing aligns with what I'd want my child to have access to, namely an environment that encourages reading at every turn.
5. A schedule that, if not entirely sustainable and perfect, has lots of perks.  It is a little ridiculous how complicated our childcare schedule is, but I wanted to minimize my time away and preserve some 1:1 time with both Jack and Cora each week.  The 1:1 time has been working nicely. It's practical in that I can schedule doctor's appointments and hair appointments with just the child in question to take.  And it's also special for reasons easy to imagine.  I have one full day on Thursday with both of them.  I love knowing that Thursday has no work, no school, and no schedule.  We have been having lots of fun with this so far.

 Each fireman  needs their own time, sometimes!

I'll be lucky if the balance continues, but at the very least, I've learned some important lessons on what I need in my work:life balance set-up.  I feel enormously fortunate to have the option to work part time and also to be in a job that is a good match.

Now for a brief soap box.  Our society needs to redefine WORK. Parents need to have time with their children and our work schedules and goals shouldn't be so arbitrary.  Every parent who wants to should be able to have conversations around flexible schedules.  And our childcare options need to be more flexible to match this on the other end.  Cora's school, the Child Development Program, does a great job with this, offering 9-12, 9-1, 9-3, plus early care and after care options on whatever combination of days you choose.  That is INVALUABLE for making part time work feasible.

I love time with my children and I'm so thankful I've been able to carve it out and still contribute to our family income and to professional goals. 

Landry Speak

I love words. My children love several words in particular.  I've already written about Jack's fondness for actually (which has been dialed down lately.)  Cora has latched on to the tactic of repeating the same word over and over to make sure you know what she wants.

CORA-SPEAK

She's a girly girl that likes to play with her bows!

"Wawa" - two different people at her school commented this week, "Wow, she really likes her water." She asks for it repeatedly.

"Da(n)dee" - this means blankie, but to the church nursery workers, they heard "Daddy" and greeted me with "She cried the whole hour asking for her Daddy and pointing to this other child's blanket..."

"Uh-oh" - used when she's made a mistake, when she's about to make a "mistake", or she thinks you've made a mistake, as in "uhoh-uhoh-uhoh-uhoh" and pointing to what she wants you to do for her and which you've obviously forgotten to do.

"Dada" - maybe the first picture she saw was of her Daddy but any man in a picture is "dada" (including Nelson Mandela on the spine of his autobiography on our bookshelf). However, I'm also "dada" in pictures.  She lights up when she sees my wedding portrait and says "Dada!"  She will correctly say "Dja-dja" and "baby" for Jack and herself, but I remain "Dada."
 
"Ah dee" - means all done.  It may actually mean she's done, but it is also used to signify an empty plate after she's dropped every bit of food on the floor.  She will also put it on REPEAT when she's done but you haven't gotten the message, as in "Ah-dee, ah-dee, ah-dee" with a waving hand to knock the piece of food you are offering also onto the floor.

"Uh-uh" - means NO! and she will just keep saying it until you listen.  She's a feisty one these days!

"Dja-dja" (said with a twitch, hands making fists, and arms stretching out) - she is always so excited when she sees her brother!  Her teacher loves to tell me how she does this whenever Jack's name is mentioned.

I think a parent probably never gets over thinking their firstborn is so clever.  I mean they are the one hitting all the milestones first.  Plus when you're in love with someone, you think everything they do is cute :)  So on to brother Jack:

JACK-SPEAK

"quite" - as in "I can't quite remember."
"triple superlatives" - as in "the biggest, most biggest game of Memory ever!" or "the biggest, most biggest game of Hide and Seek in the world!"


And this kid has his quirks too.  He now HAS to cycle through the same list of requests every night before bed.  If you leave before he's done or if he forgets one, he calls you back (or cries).
"Mommy, will you tell me when it's morning and tell Daddy to tell me when it's morning and will you give me a kiss in a little while and will you tell Daddy to give me a kiss too?"

Also: if you say "Jack, you have 2/5/10 more minutes" he without fail responds:
"5 more LONG minutes" to which you must respond or else he'll keep asking

This comes up in parks and playdates and before most transitions, but amusingly the other day his friend was told to share his bike with Jack in three more minutes, to which Jack responded "3 more SHORT minutes, okay?" 

Why would you want to leave the park when you are having this much fun!?

September Beach Trip

We went on a four day vacation to Pensacola the weekend after Labor Day.  This was awesome timing for a lot of reasons and we may try to replicate this next year.  We captured the fun on camera:

Highlights:

For Jacob: Reading a whole book start to finish, solo time to visit a Pensacola brewery, having time to cook

For Me: Reading a whole book start to finish, spending time with my favorite people without the usual distractions, being on top of preparations so that we arrived with ingredients to make our favorite foods

For Jack:  The pool, the fire station down the road, the five-door fire station on the naval airstation base

For Cora: A new space to toddle around, emptying the bucket of shovels and putting them back in, all her favorite people together for four days

15 Month Update

First Scraped Up Nose

Cora will be 15 months on Monday...  Her life lately:

Sleeping - much improved!  Most nights, she sleeps 7/7:30 until 5-6:30.  If she wakes before 6, I can usually nurse her and get her to go back to sleep.  She struggles some on her school mornings as she doesn't get to nap until after 12.  It works well that she just goes Monday and Wednesday as it allows her to take two naps on the other weekdays and catch up on her sleep.

School - Jacob or I are now dropping her off at friend's in the morning as part of a carpool.  This may be helping with less tears once she arrives at school.  When I pick her up in the afternoons, she seems happy.  Of course she can't give me much feedback, but overall we feel good about the new set-up.

Eating Habits - Nurses 4-5 times a day, so less than the last few months.  She's always been an under 5 minute nurser, but lately, she really loves to nurse and can hang out for a while, so I've taken to reading, something I haven't done while nursing since she was 3 or so months old.  As for food (as in all things), she knows what she likes.  At the moment:

• Cora Favorites: bananas, peaches, nectarines, plums, apples, any melon, dried figs and apricots, plain oatmeal, eggs, cheese, bread, tamales, pasta, meat, mushrooms, sweet potato wedges, and grilled vegetables
• No Thank You's: blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, applesauce, most things on spoons, salad

Talking/Learning - This girl KNOWS what she wants and while her vocabulary is waiting to catch up, she uses a lot of "UH-UH-UH" and gesturing and pointing to make sure you are getting her message.

• In the morning we hear: "dankie" (blankie) which she drags all over the house, "wawa" (water cup) "mamama" (mama milk) "dja-dja" (Jack-Jack) and "Da-dee" a lot
• At the table, we hear "da-doo" (thank you), "ah-dee" (all done), and a lot of "wawa"
• During the day, she'll come up and say "tinkee" when she wants to be changed (sometimes) and "all kee" (all clean) when she's clean
• On walks, she still gets very excited to see "DOG-gie" and "birdee"
• She now knows cows say "moo", cats say "mew" and dogs say "wuff-wuff"
• She can say "I wuh woo," sometimes unprompted :)
• She can point to her belly button when asked and her nose
• She picks up her favorite books and backs up into your lap for you to read to her
• She loves, loves to organize (I'm so proud!!) and can spend a long time putting things into a container and taking them back out

She loves destroying our bookshelf!

Personality - she's a little extra clingy lately - maybe an effect from being left somewhere all day for the first time?  She also gets her feelings hurt easily and will collapse on her bottom, drop her head to the floor, and cry big drop tears.  She'll recover fast if you also drop to the floor and open your arms for a hug (she dramatically gets up and toddles over to collapse in your arms.) :)  

 

Jacob took Cora and Jack to his mom's house for a weekend visit while I was on a quick trip and he was amused to find Jack and Cora entertaining each other in the back seat.  Watching their relationship grow is really special and fun.  As Cora is easy to offend, we are continuing to learn to take true stock of a situation before issuing judgement.  She'll grab a toy and toddle-run away, but Jack is increasingly patient with this.  (We're working on getting him to show such patience at school!)  But the sweetest moment happened last week, when Cora grabbed a toy for the 3rd or 4th time, ran away, leaving Jack so frustrated he dropped his head down to the floor, visibly upset. Cora saw his response and paused, looked down at the toy, and then walked back and gave it to Jack.  I loved watching this response :)  Her teacher (who was also Jack's first teacher) say she lights up whenever his name is mentioned and says an enthusiastic "Dja-dja!"  I pick Jack up first and he always runs into her school saying "I want to be the first one Cora sees."

Love them both so much!

First day of school pictorial

I think their thought processes were something like this:

Cora, just smile, they're not going to let us leave until you smile.

Little sis, what part of sit here and smile don't you get?  Trust me, I know how this camera thing works!

Wow, there's my wa-wa!

Hold up, this is a black lunchbox and it says "Jack."  Am I getting my brother's cast off lunchbox with the wrong color monogram?

The squinty eye smile

Nope, not quite it either

Ready for Year 2 in Waldorf's Nursery program!

Ready for her first day at the Child Development Program

No doubt Mommy has the worst first day of school jitters of anyone in this picture!

Daddy says he's not nervous, but he did check in several times for updates.

It's actually time to talk about Jack

 We are living in actually land right now.  Jack has always liked this word, but I've noticed its use has gone up tenfold lately.  And not just by Jack.  Do I say actually because he says actually?  Or the other way around?  Hard to tell these days.  Of course I feel like I use it appropriately.... "actually, that is not what is going to happen..."  Jack is a little more liberal.  He may just like the sound of this word.

I feel like we've hit another parenting milestone recently.  That is, we now live with a fully cognitive child.  Meaning, there is no longer a small child in our midst who we can mollify with "fuzzy" rationalizations.  Case in point.  I'm driving, Jack drops something in the back seat.  He wants me to get it for him.  "Jack, I can't get that for you because I'm driving."  In the past, that would have sufficed.  Last week he replies, "Okay, mom, well you can get it for me when you get to the next red light."  It's like he "gets" life now and sees through flimsy excuses.

He's also an inventive thinker.  This is fun a lot of times as he has a great imagination.  Other times, it comes back to bite us.  Last week, we went on a play date at his school to meet his teachers and classmates.  Jack loved returning to his same room from last year and quickly found the new toys.  He started  serving up a table of food to me and putting fruit in a tea kettle for "tea soup."  A friend came over to play too and Jack started hoarding the food and trying to edge the other little boy out.  I was talking to him that night about what had happened and asking him "What are some other things you could have done?"  I was looking for "I could have shared," but what I got was "I could have just ignored him."  Hmmm.  Wish us luck that he chooses friendlier approaches next week when he goes back to school!

Jack with our five baby ducks: Sam, Elvis, Penny, and "the twins"

He continues to be a voracious reader.  I never thought we'd need to give books away, but we are drowning in books.  Add stacks from the library and it gets a little chaotic.  I like it thought because it keeps the content fresh :)  Jack has a great vocabulary and I think it comes from his reading.  He's recently gone on record with things like:

• "I'm dashing up the stairs."
• "And then I realized I wasn't full!"
• "I didn't notice that before."
• "I don't have any energy left."

There have been more moments of sweetness toward Cora lately, though he can definitely annoy her!  (And she's no longer afraid to show us how she feels.  She'll holler, shriek, or grab back a toy.  We now have to be careful to make sure Jack is actually doing something wrong before we jump in.  I think she may have gotten a few freebies before we realized she may have been working that situation.)

Jack likes to say things to Cora like "You are the cutest baby I've EVER seen!"  He also gives her his own nicknames, which oftentimes include the word chubby.

Jack loves me a lot.  (The feeling is mutual.)  He always wants to snuggle his momma and can be really sweet.  He's generous with his "Love yous" and kisses.  I hope he's always this free with his affection.  The snuggles don't stop one day, right?!

Jack L. at Vacation Bible School

14 month update

Lots going on for the Landrys these days!  For now, here's the update on Miss Cora...

This last month has been more challenging for us.  And that is because we have a shrieker on our hands!  I've reminded myself a few times that this was about the age when Jack started hitting his head on the floor whenever we would leave the room - maybe it's just a difficult age!  For Cora, she has a shriek sound she uses when she doesn't like something, and she has a yelp sound she uses when she wants something.  We've been working to teach her "please", with no luck.  It makes total sense that this is the age where a child acts out somewhat; they now have very clear emotions and wants, but don't yet have the language to convey it.  So they headbutt or shriek :)

As for the sleeping...  We felt there was no point in making a big effort to work on sleep habits pre-international trip...or on the trip...and then July was so busy...and then Cora and I went to SC...and now she's 14 months and is so headstrong that our efforts are failing.  Case in point.  We had "decided" not to let her nurse until after 5am.  Well Cora "decided" she didn't like that plan.  The baby that could once be patted to sleep refused to lay down, arched her back, pushed away, and all but spit in Jacob's face, as she reached for the door demanding her mommy.  A few times we've given in, depending on the time of night, and a few times we've just shut her door and let her cry.  We're going to try to be more consistent.  It's just hard when one child is waking the other and you know all will be quiet with a few minutes of nursing.

Naps have also been hard lately.  Part of it is having babysitters.  Part of it is that she no longer needs two naps every day.  We're figuring it out.

Cora will start school on the 19th. I'm excited and hopeful she will like it.  She'll go two full days to match my two full work days.  On Friday mornings, my other work day, she and Jack will be home with a sitter.

Now for what is going well!  She is still Miss Personality and a very aware/observant child.  Lots of smiles, waves, and "hi's" to friends and strangers.  She pays attention and remembers where things are and what our routines are.  If you ask for something by name, she can bring it to you. When we visited pregnant Aunt Kristen, she knew to point to Aunt K's belly when asked "where is baby Billy?" She loves, loves, LOVES her blankie, "dankie," and drags it (luckily any of a set of three matching ones) around the house.  She also loves real and fake dogs and often has her pink and white "DOG-gie" clutched in her teeth as she toddles around.

Her new words this month besides blankie are thank you "da-doo"(when you give her something), "wa-wa" (which means her cup, but also can mean milk), "petty" (pretty), and "baby".


With the challenges are intermixed all the delights :) We are so infinitely blessed by these two beautiful creatures, so full of life!!

Stitch Fix - the time I bought the whole box

I've already shared my love of Stitch Fix.

It is still the perfect shopping solution for me.  A few clicks online...stored style/color/fit preferences...a box arriving at my doorstep...trying on clothes at my leisure at my house...shopping credits thanks to friends using my link...and the end product of stylish clothes that I would never have made time or known how to find.

As a treat to myself, I scheduled this, my fourth, Stitch Fix to arrive before I left on my international trip. I liked four items, but if you keep all five, you get 25% off the whole order, so it was cheaper to keep all five, so that's what I did!

If you haven't tried Stitch Fix, use my link to sign up - I continue to be 100% sold!

New dress

New shirt

New shirt