Wednesday, January 06, 2016

Absolutely Crazy

Rather than bring this post around to the positive at the end, I commit to writing another post about how full life is and all the awesome things that I get to witness on a daily basis.

But this post is about the crazy. Mark it in the record books that we are in the trenches now. Surviving not thriving. A daily blitz. Sanity stretching craziness.  Living at the extremes.  You get the picture.

When we had Jack, I was so excited to have a baby that the challenges of transitioning to one child seemed all part of the adventure.  Transitioning to two was definitely more of an adjustment and the summer of 2012 was not easy. But, daggonit in hindsight, we were rocking the two kid thing.  I can't say I remember Cora's baby year all that well, but the two years after that now seem so rosy in retrospect. Calm and easy compared to right now.

Seeing that we have the world's sweetest, easiest baby, it's confusing to me how transitioning to three children could be so rocking this boat?! I'm going to cut us some slack and recognize that Jacob launching a new business, me taking on more responsibility at work, Jack starting Kindergarten across town, and the simple truth that 3 kids with 3 schedules at 3 locations is just a lot - all add something to this adjustment.

A brand new baby and newborn sleep patterns is always going to be hard. But we actually were in a lull in the spring while I was on maternity leave and Jack and Cora were continuing their happy existence together at Waldorf. Then summer came and we had some fun adventures. Then I went back to work and we started the weekly experience of needing to account for everyone, every day, in different places, different schedules, factoring in when Luke needed to be fed, who was picking up whom, with what car, did they have the car seat, were the bags packed, empty the lunch box, wash, repack.  And then we started inserting various illnesses.  Hand Foot Mouth.  The common cold. Strep. Possible pneumonia.  Ear infection.  Persistent sinus infection. Vicious unnamed virus. The occasional vomiting episode. Eczema.

And after about three months thinking that surely it would get easier once school started, once we got adjusted to the school schedules, once I got that project turned in, I realized that it probably isn't going to get easier this year. Most days feel like sprints. And we're too tired to keep track, but I estimate 80% of our nights are interrupted by someone's night terror, nightmare, shooting pain, etc.  (It's another post that 90% of those nights are being caused by one child. Hint: Cora)

Oh the piles
I remember a calmer, more mellow Courtney last year. Now I get downright anxious quite often. It's like someone's playing a trick on you when you don't sit down all day and yet everywhere you turn there is something else that needs doing: open the fridge (I need to freeze that milk), turn to the sink (those dishes need to be washed), walk past the stove (is that the oatmeal still out from breakfast), trip over the backpack (that needs to be unpacked and repacked), stop to answer child's question, remember there is a child pooping on the potty, and then realize you have no idea what you were about to do but know it was something...

Please tell me it gets easier!

1 comment:

ba said...

Well I will tell you that somehow we manage to get through raising children. And then you are on the downhill slide and you wonder where in the world the time went. In the midst of the chaos and exhaustion, try to find those glimmers of light - those will be the memories that you will cherish one day. I love you, Mom