Saturday, June 23, 2012

If I'm being honest...

My mom left 2 hours ago.  It's amazing how motherhood can reduce someone who once considered herself quite accomplished to a pretty anxious and overwhelmed state.  I don't know that anything I've ever had in front of me daunted me quite as much as being on my own this week with two little children.  Not speaking in front of thousands of people, running a marathon in 80 degree heat, walking in to teach a class of 20 2nd graders on 5 weeks training, or anything else I've done.  Is that melodramatic?  I don't think so.  I'm schooled enough in this motherhood field to know that this week is going to kick my butt, so maybe I'm just smart to be nervous :)

Case in point.  In 2 hours of being on my own, Cora cried without ceasing on the drive home from the airport, while Jack screamed "Go back and pick up Grammy" and then wet his pants and carseat.  Once home, he has since pooped twice in the potty (a good thing) which as a new and novel thing kept me by his side while Cora continued to cry.  On the positive side, I did feed all of us and Cora is now asleep and Jack hopefully is falling asleep.

As with most things, I think if you can prepare well for a job/task/goal, then you can probably knock it out of the park.  The thing with motherhood is that you always seem to be working in subprime conditions.  I'm now going on two weeks of sleeping in 1.5 - 2.5 hour chunks, so I'd have to say I'm not at optimal performance levels.  I also got slammed with some mastitis and a double dose of pink eye, so again, not optimal.

Post afternoon naps
Enough with the complaining, I have two healthy children and I'm determined that this week will go well.  I want simply to keep everyone safe, fed, and feeling loved and to not lose my cool.  Simple goals, right?  Wish me luck!

(P.S.  Jack is definitely not napping, alas.)


Nate the Great said...

Oh Courtney...being a mother of one child can be daunting, much less two under the age of 3. You are such a wonderful mother! Remember that amidst all of the chaos that can happen. Remember that when you are crying because it feels like you may never sleep again!

You will get through this week like you handle all else in your life...with grace and compassion and love and prayer! Don't be afraid to ask for help! I finish school next week and if you think that I could be of help for a few days...even if it is only so you can get some sleep, I'd be glad to head your way.
Take care! Love and prayers,
Aunt Lisa

Naomi said...

You're amazing Courtney - sending lots of good energy your way!

Naomi Jozovich said...

You're amazing Courtney - sending lots of good energy your way.


Jessica said...

I have sooo been there! It gets better every day (I was going to say "easier" but that's not exactly it). There is no shame in a nap-in-the-car-milkshake-run. I highly recommend them! You are a wonderful mother--Jack and Cora are some lucky babies!